This past weekend, my dear friend Angie came into town with her husband for a football game. My husband and I were thrilled to have the opportunity to tag along. Angie and I have known each other since we were 13 years old, but haven’t seen each other in about a decade. From the minute we saw each other until the minute we said goodbye, we didn’t stop talking. There’s comfort in a friendship that has lasted most of your life— someone who knows all the versions of you, has grown up with you and makes you feel like family.
Speaking of family, there were years that we were constantly at either her house or mine, so we got to know each other’s families really well. My mom loved having us girls around. She treated us all the same & delighted in spending time with us. If you’re new here, my mom passed away almost 3 years ago. It was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever been through, but that’s a story for another time. This one is about chicken noodle soup.
Angie and I had spoken since my mom passed; she even sent a beautiful letter remembering my mom, but we had not seen each other in person. She asked how I was doing, and then we started reminiscing and telling stories. I asked her if she remembered my mom making homemade chicken noodle soup, which she served with a scoop of homemade mashed potatoes at the bottom of the bowl. Not only did she remember this, but she told me she makes it for her family all the time. Her kids absolutely love it and think it’s so cool because nobody else serves chicken noodle soup with mashed potatoes. I was so happy she made this tradition with her family because of my mom, but I couldn’t help but wonder why I hadn’t done the same.
A couple of days later, I had a really good cry and thought about things I hadn’t done yet, like make that soup. My mom was such a great homemaker and I always thought I would be too. If I’m being honest, I thought I would be even better. But the truth is somewhere in the middle. A good cry has a way of cleansing you and I realized I had nothing to feel bad about. For one, there’s still plenty of time to make chicken noodle soup with mashed potatoes. And for two, I did other things that my mom didn’t do. I created new traditions for me and my family. I even made lentil soup before my mom did… and my daughter loves it!
As I thought about why I hadn’t made the soup, I realized my mom did what she wanted to do: she set an example for the many “daughters” she had simply through the way she loved her family. At the end of the day, it’s about creating a safe, loving home where your family is creating memories they will cherish. Just like Angie is doing with hers. My mom is looking down at all the “daughters” that were learning from her while she was just living her life & loving her people. She’s feeling proud of all of us and the families, traditions and memories we are creating.
I’m planning to make chicken noodle soup this year with mashed potatoes for my family but if I don’t, it’s OK, I’ll give myself grace because my story is not over yet.